Waiting and waiting.....

So I made an appointment with my Hippopotamus back on the day I found out about this new wrinkle in my life. Dr. Hippo must be a popular doctor as my first chance to see him was February 12. So now I'm just waiting and possibly enjoying the time between now and then not having any of the side effects that may come with interferon therapy (should I have to have it) But the waiting is killing me. Not really killing me, but just having it linger out there is annoying.

What you may not know is that before I was in the convention & event business I was in health care. If you've been to the Emergency Room and the nurse tells you that this won't hurt much... then you feel the blinding pain flash while you're being held down... that was me :) Well, I was more honest than that actually. I would tell you it was going to hurt like a mother, but if you move or jerk it's going to hurt that much worse so hold still dammit!

Anyway, sometimes too much medical knowledge is a burden. You know what the worst could be so you sit around imagining the worst case in your health care. At a time when I'm trying to find the next long term job in my life, I keep worrying about how I'm going to be able to continue working while possibly feeling all these crappy side effects that could come. It is also a little disappointing (hell, a LOT disappointing) that I could miss my birthday again this year. Last year I turned 40 and had always planned for a big shin dig to kick off my 40's. My mom passed away in October of 2005 after a long battle with cancer which had me traveling back and forth to South Carolina in her final months. (something I would do all over again... in fact, had I known it was coming like that I would have moved home for the last part of her life) When my birthday rolled around I was broke and had no vacation time left to take any time off. So I sat back and started planning for my 41st birthday and planned on calling it My Big Birthday, 40 version 2.0 :) I have a feeling I'm going to turn 41 feeling like complete crap.

BUT... have to keep positive about it and hope for the best. In Mrs. Doubtfire Robin Williams' character says "Do you ever freeze one frame of your day and say 'This is not my life'?" I do, but alas, it still is my life. I've had plenty of good and I've had plenty of bad. I guess it's time for a little ugly... Bring it on baby!

Step back and start again....

For anyone who's actually read this blog, I've decided to go in a different direction. Today is January 4, 2007 and I got a big bolus of bad news today. 2007 was going to be a good year, and it still may be, but as my doctor said, it's going to be "a rough year". The bad news was that I have been diagnosed with Hepatitis C. What I know so far is:

- I have it....
- My liver is slightly enlarged and my liver enzymes are slightly elevated (I keep chuckling at how the word "slightly" still leads to the rough year I'm going to endure)
- Odds are I'll be going on interferon therapy which lasts up to 12 months. This involves a weekly injection (that I give myself... oh yeah, that's fun) and then the possible side effects could hit
* fatigue (like I need any more reason to be tired!)
* Nausea & Vomiting
* Weight Loss (well at least there's SOME kind of silver lining)
* thinning of hair (this will be revenge on me for all my years of talking about how thick my hair is)

Anyway, I hear that keeping a journal is a very therapeutic device. I tend to spend more time online than I would with a pen & paper. Besides, I think once this gets going I can direct friends & family here to see how I'm doing. It may be dark as I talk about my symptoms & fears, but if you know me, I'll be trying to find the humor in it as well.

I've been referred to a Hepatologist (which my good friend has decided to call my Hippopotamus as Hepatologist sounds funny anyway) which I'm meeting with on February 12. I think that's when the "fun" will begin, but I'll be putting my thoughts down on a hopefully regular basis. If you have any questions, let me know. I may not have the answer, but I may not have thought of the question either.

Cross your fingers for me!
Chris